I puked off the balcony.
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.