Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.

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(574): I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself. http://tfl.nu/2lez

Replies (24) Good night (1008) Bad night (7063)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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(240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS. http://tfl.nu/2m4m

Replies (126) Good night (27530) Bad night (1993) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

it's great music for shaving your balls

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(850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw

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(314): View more from Missouri

hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?

(636): View more from Missouri

Yup.

(314): View more from Missouri

Yup.

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(314): hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then? (636): Yup. (314): Yup. http://tfl.nu/bp2u

Replies (70) Good night (24699) Bad night (1722)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.

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(484): No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone. http://tfl.nu/updb

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(646): View more from New York

Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit

(646): View more from New York

The facepaint not the blacking out

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(646): Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit (646): The facepaint not the blacking out http://tfl.nu/pnw5

Replies (6) Good night (2887) Bad night (637)
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(216): View more from Ohio

There were penises being pulled out everywhere.

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(216): There were penises being pulled out everywhere. http://tfl.nu/fw5r

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'

(860): View more from Connecticut

where do you find these guys?

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(413): he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight' (860): where do you find these guys? http://tfl.nu/yte1

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

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(717): apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey http://tfl.nu/5avv

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(773): View more from Illinois

I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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(773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df

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(407): View more from Florida

And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.

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(407): And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know. http://tfl.nu/l7lp

Replies (5) Good night (1081) Bad night (327)
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(614): View more from Ohio

last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer

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(614): last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer http://tfl.nu/8528

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(503): View more from Oregon

You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

(503): View more from Oregon

Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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(503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir

Replies (2) Good night (531) Bad night (260)
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(951): View more from California

He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".

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(951): He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later". http://tfl.nu/gid9

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(317): View more from Indiana

That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.

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(317): That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal. http://tfl.nu/kp6j

Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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