How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.