Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Welp...herpes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
