NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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