Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
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An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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