I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize