I cockslap morals
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
