Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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