what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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