i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize