Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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