Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
