Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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