you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
operation harelip BJ is a go
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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