my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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