It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
