When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
