But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
