I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize