Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
