If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
