when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
