She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
