i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
