oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
