I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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