I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think your dad took our porno
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize