And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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