I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
