"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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