she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
