I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
