Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
