Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize