question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
