Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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