the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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