I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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