Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
