im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
