i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
