when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
