I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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