chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
