I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
