The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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