Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
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If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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