I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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