We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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