Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
