at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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