Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
