You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
