You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.