Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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