Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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