sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
