Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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