I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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