She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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