We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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