Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
