so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize