Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
