thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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