You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
