when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
