my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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